Episode 9

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Published on:

9th Dec 2024

Episode 9: Operation Separation Finding Freedom and Identity After a Major Life Shift

Operation Separation: Finding Freedom and Identity After a Major Life Shift

Episode Summary

What happens when you’re faced with the reality of redefining your life after a long-term relationship ends? In this deeply personal episode, Kevin and Joe discuss the challenges, lessons, and unexpected growth that come from navigating separation. With honesty and insight, they explore what it takes to find freedom, redefine identity, and embrace a new chapter of life.

Why You Should Listen

Kevin Rogers and Joe DiRoma bring years of wisdom and life experience to their conversations about midlife transitions. Kevin’s candid storytelling and Joe’s grounded philosophical perspectives create a unique dialogue that resonates with men grappling with major life changes.

Why This Episode Matters

Separation in midlife can feel like a seismic shift, especially for men who’ve built their lives around stability, routine, and family. Whether it’s divorce, career pivots, or personal reinvention, this episode offers actionable insights and emotional depth for anyone questioning their path forward.

Key Quotes

“The hardest part wasn’t knowing what I wanted—it was creating the space to figure it out.” – Kevin
“Growth always requires stepping into the unknown.” – Joe, quoting James Hollis
“Sadness is a station we stop at, not a station we stay at.” – Joe

Key Takeaways

  • The Process of Separation: Kevin shares his journey of moving out after a 24-year marriage and the profound shifts in identity, routine, and emotions that followed.
  • Grief as Growth: Both hosts emphasize the importance of allowing oneself to grieve the end of a relationship—not as failure, but as part of personal evolution.
  • Finding Flow Beyond Fight, Flight, or Freeze: Joe introduces the concept of “flow” as a fourth response to trauma, offering a perspective that helps navigate life’s inevitable disruptions.
  • Redefining Space: Kevin highlights how creating a personal space that reflects your identity—whether through art, music, or routine—can help foster healing and self-discovery.
  • The Importance of Community: Both Kevin and Joe stress the need for authentic male friendships and mentorship, urging men to reach out to their “Joe” or “Kevin” when life gets overwhelming.

Resources Mentioned

  • Books:
  • The Middle Passage by James Hollis
  • Memories, Dreams, Reflections by Carl Jung
  • Music:
  • Tom Petty’s Wildflowers
  • Leonard Cohen’s Live in London
  • Quote: “Our wounds become our wisdom.” – James Hollis

Call-to-Action

If this episode resonated with you, take a moment to share it with someone who might be navigating their own transition. Subscribe to the podcast and leave a review on Apple Podcasts to help us reach more men in need of meaningful conversations. Every episode is complemented with a weekly newsletter so sign up for our SubStack at maninthemiddleshow.com

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About the Podcast

Man in the Middle Show w/ Kevin & Joe
Man in the Middle Show with Kevin & Joe

Are you a middle-aged man feeling trapped in your life? Stuck in a relationship, career, health situation, or financial rut that leaves you unfulfilled? Do you find yourself asking, "Is this it? Is it me? Is there more?"

You're not alone, and the Man in the Middle Show is here to prove it.

Join Kevin and Joe, two regular guys living in the "middle", as they dive deep into the challenges, triumphs, and existential questions that plague men in midlife. This isn't your typical self-help podcast – it's a raw, honest conversation between friends who've been there, done that, and are still figuring it out.

Meet Your Hosts:

Kevin at 54, he's a bald, bionic entrepreneur with a metal heart valve and 20 years in the "bonus round" of life. A former stand-up comic turned business owner, Kevin's journey includes:
- 25 years of marriage
- Raising two newly adult children
- A near-death experience and open-heart surgery at 35
- Navigating major career shifts and life transitions

Joe is The 42-year-old "regular guy" with an extraordinary story:
- 15 years sober after a 13-year battle with addiction
- High school dropout turned successful restaurant industry leader and now COO in digital marketing
- Father to a teenager and expecting a newborn (talk about a midlife shake-up!)
- Proof that it's never too late to turn your life around

Why Listen?

Real Talk, No BS... Kevin and Joe aren't therapists or gurus – they're guys just like you, sharing their experiences and struggles without filters.

You're Not Alone! Discover that those feelings of emptiness, confusion, and restlessness are normal and part of the midlife journey for many men.

Diverse Perspectives are critical. With their vastly different backgrounds and life experiences, Kevin and Joe offer unique insights into common midlife challenges.

Inspiration to Ask Bigger Questions. Instead of easy answers, you'll be motivated to dig deeper and rediscover what truly matters to you.

A Safe Space for Men. Finally, a place where you can hear open, honest discussions about the topics men often feel they can't talk about.

Practical Wisdom. Learn from the hosts' successes and failures as they navigate relationships, career transitions, health scares, and major life changes.

Finally... some Humor and Heart. Expect laughs alongside the deep stuff – because sometimes, you've got to find the funny in life's challenges.

The Man in the Middle Show isn't about having it all figured out. It's about embracing the messy middle, finding meaning in the struggle, and realizing that your best years might still be ahead of you.

Whether you're feeling lost, looking for a change, or just want to hear from guys who get it, Kevin and Joe are here to bring you into the middle of the conversation. You're not above, you're not below – you're right there with them, part of a community of men facing midlife head-on.

Tune in and discover:
- Strategies for reigniting passion in your relationships and career
- How to navigate major life transitions with grace (or at least a sense of humor)
- Ways to redefine success and fulfillment on your own terms
- The power of vulnerability and authentic male friendships
- Tools for managing stress, health concerns, and the infamous midlife crisis

Don't let society tell you how to age or what your life should look like. Join Kevin, Joe, and a growing tribe of men who are rewriting the rules of midlife, one honest conversation at a time.

Subscribe to the Man in the Middle Show w/ Kevin & Joe because midlife doesn't have to be a crisis. It can be your awakening.

New episodes drop weekly. Available wherever you get your podcasts.

Remember... You're not stuck. You're not alone. And there's definitely more to life – let's find it together.

About your host

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Joseph DiRoma